5/23/16

Ok, too many thoughts and too little time. So we had zone conference this week and it was so awesome. Our mission president President Porter is an amazing man. He talked about the sacrament and the atonement. Something that he said that really impacted me was that if you think about it, sacrament meeting is like a memorial service for the Savior. If you look at the sacrament table, it looks like a body underneath the cloth, presented on an alter. Sometimes we get too tired to go to church or have who knows what going on. If one of your closest friends died, would you miss their funeral because the super bowl was on? No, you would drop absolutely everything to go and show your love and gratitude for this person who is dear in your heart. 

It should be the exact same way every Sunday when we get the opportunity to go to Christ’s memorial service. And even more, we get the opportunity to speak at the memorial service every fast Sunday when we can get up and express our love and gratitude for this man who gave up His life for us. I feel like we get so used to just having the sacrament be a weekly routine and just a part of going to church and we take it for granted. I know I do. But really think about it. 

We get to take the bread, which represents his body. His body that He bled out of every pour while suffering for our worst pains and His body that was bruised and beaten and ripped to shreds, all so that we can be forgiven of our mistakes and our sins. 

We get to drink the water, which represents His blood that dripped off His hands which had stakes nailed through them, so that He could lay upon that cross and still show his unconditional love for all of us and forgive those cruel men who had just given him the worst pain, and say, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do", so that He can show us unconditional love when we turn our backs on Him and cause Him heartache and grief with our rebellion. 

I would like to invite all of us to never, ever take His ultimate sacrifice for us for granted. Imagine how it would feel to be Heavenly Father, to give up your only begotten child and to have to see Him go through so much pain, only to have the rest of your children take the sacrament and then check their phones to see what happened on Facebook in the last ten minutes. Or not show up to His memorial service because they have a cough and a running nose. We have no right to show that kind of disrespect to our SAVIOR like that. I have made a promise today to do all I can to appreciate and acknowledge His sacrifice every day for the rest of my life, and I would invite you to do the same.  

I wrote this poem this week:

One day, one step, one breath at a time

No soul as rent in anguish as mine

Sins as scarlet as the blood shed that day

A terrible, horrible price did He pay

Guilt and sorrow ever abound

No relief in sight, only pain to be found

The daily struggle almost too much to bear

Only way I can do it is with Christ standing there

"Nearer my God to thee"

A heaven-sent, heart-bent, beg and plea

Here, O God, is my soul to take

The sacrifice has been made, there is no debate

He suffered, bled, and died for me

But a sinner, beggar, and liar I never cease to be

Repenting daily for all the big and little things

Sinning all the same, oh the shame that it brings

Christ I ask, "How can I be yours?"

"Oh child," He answers, "I'll be at the shore."

Like the rocks sitting there, always firm and steady

He is always waiting there, whenever we are ready

But like the tide, readily moving in and out

We come close then always to change our route

Sometimes drawing near, then others drawing back

But He will never leave, and that's an unchanging fact

I love my Savior and Redeemer and my only hope in this world is to live a life that He doesn't regret dying for.

-Sister Peardon

5/17/16

Flemingsburg Kentucky, oh what a joyous sound. Not gonna lie, this week was weird. The people here are just so funky, it's great. So much to say but so little time. But I can hear the applause from here for my improved time managing, thank you, thank you. Let's see. 

So I got low key offended for the first time on my mission this week. That was great. It wasn't even like an outright thing, but the intention was definitely intended and it made me upset lol We met with this guy David and towards the end he started asking like why we don't have more people in our church and why we don't have preachers standing on every corner and it made me so mad, because I was like dude, what the crap do you think we are doing out here? I literally left the only home I know, my family and everybody I love and care about, and literally put my entire life on hold to talk to people like you who pretty much just told me that I am out here for nothing. He like totally invalidated us as missionaries and told us that we were wasting our time and pretty much told us that like we weren't enough. And it made me so mad. But like really though, there is no use even trying to teach anymore once you have anger in your heart because then you are just talking out of contention and not love and the spirit can't communicate in contention and I was just so over it so we left shortly after. And like I felt like total trash after I left and was so pissed and felt bad about myself and like a waste of space but like, this is something we teach our investigators like seriously every lesson. Satan works so fricken hard on everyone. It's like the more righteous you are being, the more he is going to try to stop you. So like all these bad thoughts I was having about wasting my time and not being enough and blah blah were all from satan. He knows I am out here being a servant for Jesus Christ and he already knows who the winning team is going to be, but he hates losing and so he will do everything he can to stop us as saints of God. 

Ya'll, I wrote a killer talk this week for Zone Conference that I'll tell you about next week, but I love the concept so much. 

OH another cool thing. So like ok, not gonna lie, I literally didn't have conviction about Joseph Smith and the First Vision until last week. Like some people assume missionaries go out knowing everything and being perfect believers but that's a literal joke. So we were on exchanges last week, which just means like we switch companions and areas and everything for 24 hours with our sister training leaders. Essentially it is just a sleepover mission style. But I guess we aren't allowed to call it a sleepover so we call them povers lol So I was with Sister Westbrook and we were doing comp study in the morning and roleplaying teaching the restoration in 5 minutes and she was going first. And she was teaching me the first vision, and as she was reading Josephs description of the first vision, like the spirit was so amazingly strong and I literally felt like a warm burning sensation in my chest over my heart and I had never felt that before in my entire life and I knew that that was the spirit confirming to me that that actually happened in the grove, that Joseph was a true prophet and man called of God, and that all the things he did in restoring the church are all real things. 

Idk, it was a cool experience. We see so may miracles every single day and the grace that is apparent in missionary work is insane. Like if we do our best and do ALL we can do, God will bless us with success. He has people He has prepared and know they need His gospel, and it is just so cool to see how he puts us in their paths. God is real and this gospel is true. I do not believe that the church is true. WHAT OMG BUT CARSON YOU ARE ON A MISSION YOURE SUCH A JACK MISSIONARY no, calm down. 

There is a definite difference between the gospel and the church. I've met several people who do not come to church anymore because of something that happened at church and they got offended. Like it's a real thing. The people in this church are imperfect people. The culture that surrounds the church is not doctrine. That's the thing. Christs gospel and doctrine are totally perfect and true. But all of us in the church and the culture that surrounds it is not. That is something that a lot of people forget. Too many times I have seen people that think they are both the same thing. But they aren't. 

Like think about it, why do you think the first three lessons taught to investigators is The Restoration, The Plan of Salvation, and the Gospel of Christ? Because those are the most essential things in this gospel and in this life. The next three lessons are Law of Chastity, Word of Wisdom, and Laws and Ordinances, all very important things as well. I can't tell you the number of times as missionaries where we have said a prayer in a way that wasn't textbook praying or sit around with people who are smoking a cigarette or literally so many things. These humble people in Flemingsburg honestly don't have very much. Most of them live in trailers and have been to jail several times and can barely afford gas money. But all of them know what really matters, and that is a relationship with their Heavenly Father. I feel like when we have more than we could ever need, we get so caught up in the stupid little things, like if this person has a tattoo or you saw this person smoking or this person wearing this or doing that. That is the imperfect church that is speaking, not the true doctrine of Christ. 

I'm totally rambling now and you all probably think I'm crazy, but yeah. God is real and this gospel is true. I KNOW my savior lives and that He knows what each and every one of us is going through and that He is always there to help, we just have to reach out and take His hand and He will guide us. I love ya'll and hope Roseville is as bomb as I remember it. 

-Sister Peardon

4/28/16

So Elder Oaks came to speak to us at our weekly devotional Tuesday night. It was really cool. The coolest part for me was singing in the choir. Ok so yeah, my comp dragged me to choir but everyone was like it's your only chance to be in the MTC choir so make the most of it so yeah whatever. It was really cool. We sang Josephs Smiths First Prayer last week and that was really powerful. This week we sang the missionary medley, which is an arrangement of I Hope They Call Me On A Mission, Army Of Helaman, and Called to Serve. And one other song I didn't know. But it was such a cool experience, like even tho I can't sing, you can still sing with testimony and it will ring out just as strongly. 

So I had one cool experience with an investigator this week that I'll share. So we got new TRCs this week and one of them is Landon. And he is super awesome and like early 20s and goes to BYU and yatta yatta. Long story short, he had a problem that was keeping him from believing everything else that I didn't know how to fix. And so  we went into a lesson this week with him and I pretty much went in with the attitude of like Heavenly Father, I am all yours. Anything you need me to say to this young man, I'll do it. Like this is your lesson, I'm just your mouthpiece. And so about halfway through the lesson, I felt like I needed to share a scripture but I didn't have one prepared so I said to myself like welp, here I go. I'm just gonna open my scriptures and hope Heavenly Father directs me to one that Landon needs. And so I randomly opened it and read the first highlighted verse and it was exactly what we were talking about and exactly what he needed. He even said at the end of our lesson that He had never met missionaries that have shared those scriptures with him. And I explained to him that it really has nothing to do with us. 

We are just mouthpieces for Heavenly Father and anything we share with him are things straight from Heavenly Father to him. That is one of the coolest parts of being a missionary. We are blessed with such power and authority to teach of Christ and promise blessings in His name. There are only two types of people that are authorized to officially teach like this, and that is the apostles and missionaries. I think. I could be wrong. I'm pretty sure I heard that somewhere. Anyways. The power of missionaries is a real thing and I feel beyond blessed to have it. The gospel of Christ is a real thing that changes and blesses peoples lives. Allow it to change yours as well. I leave for Ohio on Monday and yeah, exciting things!

-Sister Peardon 

4/21/16

The MTC is great. Yes, it's a lot better than college. We learn a lot everyday and it's so awesome. I've had to learn to love my companion but like Sis. Pickett said, you don't have to be best friends with them to still be an effective companionship. I have definitely seen why Heavenly Father have put us together. She is so knowledgeable about the Bible and a lot of church history and things, like the spirit of Elijah and the Lords Prayer and stuff like that. I have no idea about a lot of that stuff. It has really become a strength to our lessons and several investigators have commented on how compatible we are.

I've had several cool experiences this week. So at the MTC, you get assigned like 2 investigators per week to teach. These people could be church members or real investigators, we don't know. I mean, sometimes you know cause you can see their garment lines but that's not the point of the exercise. One of our investigators is Nicole, and she is married with 5 kids and lives in Provo. She met the missionaries at a family history center where the missionaries referred her to the MTC. She has been good to teach. One thing me and my companion have been trying to learn how to do is how to facilitate the spirit in our lessons. We have started leaning towards just very informational lessons instead of focusing on what can we do to increase their faith in Christ. And we have been praying for it in our companion prayers and yeah. 

Nicole told us about her sister who is recently divorced and has turned to alcohol and has started to just become a very verbally abusive and rude person. Nicoles feeling towards her sister were just very bitter and sad, but she said she was beyond the point of sad, where she was just feeling irritated and frustrated with the situation. She said her sister had turned into a total witch and that she was upset about her sister making these choices. Which I mean, like so would I haha.

So I got the impression that we should read the story of Nephi and Laman and Lemual on the boat with her. Because I felt like in this situation, she was Nephi. She has a relationship with God and is making good choices and just wants the best for her sister. But her sister, like Laman and Lemual, isnt making good choices and in the chapter, it actually said that they saw that what they had said to Nephi had upset him and they rejoiced in their brothers broken heart. We related this to Nicole and it really touched her. She even said that she couldn't believe that his brothers liked the fact that they made him sad. And we continued to read the rest of the story where they tie him up and threaten to send him overboard, but the Lord tells Nephi that he can shock them. I'm not typing this out very well, but Nicole got a lot out of it. She said that she saw that Nephi was sad for his brothers and their poor decisions but she was past the point of being sad. She said that she didn't like to be sad about her sister. We explained to her that being sad instead of hard about her sister allows God to reach out and touch her heart and know what she can do to help her sister. It allows love instead of bitter feelings come out for her sister. And we told her that because she is choosing to follow Christ and pray and make righteous decisions, God will be able to work through her to help her sister and reach out in ways that her sister won't lash out about. 

Nicole said the closing prayer and she prayed to be sad about her sister, and then she was silent for a good like 2 minutes it felt like and started to cry. The spirit was so strong and I could see that she was having trouble finding the words to say next. She next said that she didn't like to be sad about her sister and then she closed her prayer. It was an amazing experience because I got to see someone literally break their heart right in front of my eyes. She was letting down all these walls she had built up to protect herself from her sisters cruel words. She was allowing Christ to come into her heart and soften it and work through it for the sake of her sister. And not only that, but me and my comp had finally succeeded in facilitating the spirit. She was allowing the atonement to work in her life.

I can testify that Christ is real and that He loves us. The gospel seems very confusing and hard to understand sometimes, but if you take a step back to look, it's not. The entire purpose of the gospel is essentially to have faith in Jesus Christ and to follow His plan to live with Him again. When we teach investigators, we teach simply. I think sometimes we need to remind ourselves to teach ourselves simply as well.

On Sunday we listened to a great talk by Bednar, and no I can't tell you the name of it cause I heard it's only shown to missionaries so sucks for you cause it was a great talk. But He was talking about the characteristics of Christ and one thing he focused a lot on is how natural man is an enemy to God. I never really understood that because I was like well God created man so I don't get it. But he talked about how as natural man, we always turn IN instead of turning OUT. If something bad happens, we turn in and feel bad for ourselves and think other people should feel bad for us and how do we feel and it's just a lot of me me mes. But Christ never did that. When going to heal sick people, Christ never thought, oh, I can't go be around them, it will lessen my status or something like that. He was always focused out instead of in.

Bednar told a story about a mom who was Relief Society president who had called him when he was a stake president very late at night because there had been a very bad accident. Three YW had been badly injured and one was dead. As they found out more information, it was told to her that the girl who had died had been her daughter. She was a single mom and that was her only child. He said that there were a number of things that she could have done. She could have cried, become angry, just become a complete mess. Turning inward as valid as a reason that she had. But the only thing that came out of her mouth was that they needed to notify the other parents right away so they could know what had happened. 

Later, she was arranging the funeral plans with Bednar and she said you know, I've been thinking. You had to go to the hospital and identify my daughter and the last time you saw her was not how I want you to remember her. (She had been badly disfigured) I want you to come to the funeral home with me because they have done a great job at making her look presentable and that is how I want you to remember her. She was in the middle of making her only childs funeral plans and yet, she was worried about his last memory of his daughter. Once again, this amazing women was turning out instead of turning in. 

The morning of the funeral, a sister from the ward who wasn't aware of this womens daughter passing or the funeral that day, called her up and CHEWED her out. This sister was upset that she had been sick all week and nobody had come to bring her meals. You know that this women did? She didn't tell her that her daughter had just passed away, she didn't give this whiny sister to someone else to be someone else problem, she didn't even talk back with a frustrated tone. She simply made a quick meal and took it to this sisters house on the way to the funeral service. This amazing women is who we should all strive to be like. 

Life is going to be hard and going to suck and there are going to be SO many times when we want to turn in. This women had such a valid reason to turn in and only focus on herself. But because she had the countenance of Christ engraven in her, she didn't, she turned out. It is a long journey to become like this, but we will never get there if we don't try. I have like a million other things I could say right now but I'm running out of time and this keyboard sucks. This gospel is true and can help you and apply to you if you let it. 

-Sister Peardon